Anonymous asked: You're an incredible human being.
<3 right back at you.
2011 and 2012 bleed so seamlessly together its fascinating. everything that has happened within the past year is relevant and nothing ever seems in the past. i’m beginning to realise that some things, however, some things have come and gone.
one year ago today it started, two months ago today it ended.
i honestly never thought it would affect me this badly, most likely due to the fact that i never thought it would end, not like this. i feel pathetic and foolish while i imagine she feels blissful and indifferent to this situation.
she now embodies the one aspect of my life that once seemed like everything which is now seemingly nothing.
one day i’m angry and the next i’m indifferent and the following i’m depressed and the next i’m happy. and my friends have been so good to me through the consolations and the advice and the reassurance but i still don’t know what to do today or any other day. i feel lost in this reality.
this weekend i saw her be everything she set out to be, everything she told me about and i advised her about, it was hard. seeing her sing a song that once reminded her of me was hard. seeing her mother wave and mouth the words ‘how are you’ was hard. being at the event that i asked her to be my girlfriend one year ago was hard.
she said everything happens for a reason, and it was meant to be this way.
this weekend proved otherwise.
it felt like a parallel universe, like none of it was real because it was all wrong.
i had arrived without post-it notes or flowers and left without saying a word. it was wrong.
i knew i was there to see her and i’m so fucking proud of her because i care about her unconditionally. i told her that along with a million other things that i said truthfully. i wish i had been lying when i said it, because its so upsetting having to do this. she’ll never be nothing to me and its such a weakness.
her hair is longer and she has new clothes but she always resembles the girl i fell in love with but somehow she’s now just another girl.
our relationship is an unfinished product because it ended so abruptly and unjustly, but i suppose that makes it finished. it’s a paradigm shift that’s difficult to realise.
one year ago today i didn’t think it would be like this. 3 months ago i didn’t think it would be like this. but it is, and i need to learn how to settle and prosper in this fucked up universe.
eric clapton - wonderful tonight
queen - somebody to love
elvis presley - suspicious minds
sam cooke - you send me
bon iver - michican, wolves, woods
bombay bicycle club - how can you swallow so much sleep, dust on the ground, flaws, jewel, glass to glass, motel blues
city and colour - what makes a man
jimmy eat world - 23, shame
ben howard - the wolves, only love, everything, keep your head up
jack johnson - better together
james vincent mcmorrow - if i had a boat
benjamin francis leftwich - stole you away, 1904
johnny flynn - the wrote and the writ
my morning jacket - wonderful the way i feel
the smiths - please let me get what i want, there is a light that never goes out
michael jackson - man in the mirror
michael kiwanuka - home again
sufjan stevens - futile devices, i walked
noah and the whale - waiting for my chance to come
death cab for cutie - title and registration, transatlanticism, summer skin, i will follow you into the dark
lianne la havas - no room for doubt
typography is extraordinary to me.
it is like a fine poetic structure
although we are bound to just these twenty-six letters we can artistically craft them in whatever way we please in order to
visually depict any atmosphere or emotion or message. the alphabet is the most fascinating universal tool we as a civilisation have invented.
i feel so ambivalent towards our limitations. what we can see is restricted by the our minds that can comprehend only a small percentage of frequencies. the electromagnetic spectrum spans far beyond our reach - this is an unfortunate reality. we will never fully understand how it feels to see the world in gamma rays and radio waves.
yet all the beauty and wonder in the world as we know it, everything we’ve ever observed and loved, has taken place in only those frequencies that we can comprehend. our limits hold within them everything we view as magical.
the twenty-six letters of the latin alphabet holds host to every word, every remark, book, poem, scripture, engraving in our language. we utilise limited tools to create limited beauty; just as every painting that was crafted with red, orange, yellow, green, indigo and violet, and every poem and book that was written with just twenty-six letters accomplishes the same.
don’t be limited by your limitations.
